Libraries

They really should look into putting fireplaces in libraries.  Nothing is more New England than getting cozy next to a fireplace with a blanket on a cold night. I think it may be snowing.  I am very excited for another New England winter.  I really hope that every has gotten in enough hot apple cider, warm cinnamony apple pie, and pumpkin pie this year.  I just check out the forecast for the winter in the farmer's almanac and it looks like its going to a cold one with not too much snow.  Grab your scarves and get ready for a lot of good pond hockey this season boys.

Frostbite

Nothing makes me feel more like a New Englander than being freezing cold in the winter.  Hope everyone is having a great day. I wonder what the wind chill is.

How ya like them apples?

As a kid, my mom used to pack me a lunch every day for school. Lunch was my favorite part of the day, and I anxiously awaited the time when I could run to my locker, grab my waterproof, stain-resistant LL Bean lunchbox, and open it up to reveal all the delicious treats inside. Most of the kids would order lunches from the cafeteria, but those lunches never had enough food for me. I needed a true New England lunch, which usually looked like this:

2 sandwiches on wheat bread
A nalgene bottle of apple cider, lemonade, or grape juice
Tupperware container full of chunky homemade apple sauce, made from the apples of our own tree
An apple or two from a recent apple-picking excursion
Oatmeal-raisin cookies
String cheese
Yogurt

Note the recurrence of apples here. Any true New Englander knows that apples make up an important part of every school boy's lunch. I was lucky because we had our own apple tree, but you didn't really eat those apples unless they were made into a pie, pressed into cider, or mashed into applesauce. The reason for this was because we never sprayed the apples with pesticides, so they were pretty gnarled and disfigured. But that didn't mean that, once manipulated into some other medium, they were any less delicious. A true New Englander knows that, unless you're a farmer trying to make a living off your produce, pesticides are a major no-no. That said, apple-picking excursions were always a staple of my New England fall. Basket in hand, I would lead the charge and climb the trees without the provided ladders because that's how New Englanders have been doing it for generations.

-Freeport Francis

Signs of Autumn

Starting in early September, the wonderful world of New England starts to undergo a few changes. At first, the temperature will drop a bit, and the air will become crisper. Leaves begin to turn, the ground dries out, and birds go quieter. As September becomes November, V-formations of Canadian Geese can be seen overhead as they begin their long journey in search of warmer homes for the upcoming cold months. The first frost, seeing one's breath outside, and the splitting and stacking of firewood are sure signs that fall is in full swing. But Nature's great announcement that Fall has finally arrived can be found in the trees. Out on a brisk walk, wearing a bright orange hat to allay the perils of hunting season, the true New Englander will find himself in a meadow. Looking up, his breath will catch as he sees the explosion of red, yellow, and orange hues with which nature's brush strokes have canvassed the trees. From the audacious maple to the elderly oak;  white birches alight with yellow tops, foiled by the fires of the hickory and dogwood. For a few short weeks, the world is ablaze. But just as quickly, the fires are put out, and standing in their place are the brown, crinkled ashes that hang on for dear life until a stiff breeze drops them from their perch to the cold, hard ground. From there, they are raked into neat piles, only to be spread again by the frivolity of young children playing in the backyard. They blend into the ground, sad remembrances of their former glory, forgotten only by the blessed, merciful blanketing of the first snow.

-Freeport Francis

Dogs

Every true New Englander or True New England family has a dog....there couldn't be anything more New England.  Its man's best friend and therefore the New Englanders best friend.  Its a match made in heaven.  Dogs also complete the TNE look and picturesque lifestyle.  Throwing your dog in the back of the tahoe, driving up to Lake Winnipesaukee or down to Chatham for the weekend..nothing could be more New England. Its how TNE's spot other TNE's.  No True New Englander lets their wife buy a dog that can be beat up buy a squirrel, fits in a handbag, or a poodle.  White, black, any color.  They do not embody everything that it is to be from New England.  A good dog will aways compliment Bean boots, a good pair of cords, and a green Barbour. The classic new england dog has to match the classic New England look and be able to maneuver the stone walls, cobblestone and gravel driveways and be able to fend for itself out on the classic New England dogwalking trails.  But any asshole with a dog isn't a TNE, there are things to look for that are dead giveaways that you are in the presence of a TNE.

Top 3 TNE Dogs
1. Golden Retriever - The great family dog that love exploring the woods from Massachusetts to Maine.
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2. Labrador - Seen on the shores of beaches and at yatch clubs up and down the coast of New England. A classic, seen both with families and with young single men looking for a dog that likes to adventure.  Usually have lots of energy and have names that are sailing terms or sometimes just simply "Storm".

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3. English Spaniel - A favorite of TNE grandmothers and mothers alike.  Whenever I see one it brings me back to my youth going over to Nana's house and playing in the yard while the adults drink rum punches and gin on the rocks.

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Wintry Mix

In most New England states, checking the weather report for the day is often as important a part of the daily routine as tying one's shoes or Bean boots. In fact, most of the time this consultation will determine what to put on your feet before you walk out the door. The term "wintry mix" may sound like some delightful holiday cocktail, or perhaps a terrific snackfood to enjoy in front of a fire while ice-fishing. However, this is not the case. Imagine getting a maple syrup snowcone dumped on your head, while taking a cold shower with a crowd of people pelting your naked body with marble-sized ice shards. Dealing with a wintry mix is like watching one of those old black-and-white comedy shows where everything that could possibly go wrong does. This is what a true New Englander is prepared for when he/she walks out the door every day November to April.

-Freeport Francis

Great New England Debate: Is Connecticut Part of New England?

Well here it goes...the first of many classic New England debates.  Is Connecticut actually part of New England?  Maybe a better question would be did Connecticut successfully annex itself from New York?  I mean lets get serious here for a second I'm pretty sure that 60% of the state supports the Yankees...thats not New England.  And the other 40% supports the Jets...thats definitely not New England.   I think its fair to say that any state that is used as a nighttime getaway for NYC bankers who are too old to hang with the big apple nightlife doesn't deserve to even be in this debate.  Further, they send their kids from the cheezeball state to our prestigious New England boarding schools and universities as though they belong to be here.  Take your Range Rovers and your Revis Jerseys back to CT.  We're all set. Hey CT! See ya later! You're not New England!  Guys definitely feel free to post your reasons for or against but I think this one is a no brainer.

-The True New Englander